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Sexual Abuse And It’s Toll On Us.

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I’ve been a victim, I am a survivor. I know what it feels like, to feel like a piece of dirty rag.

You’re happy today, then tomorrow the family member who you think really likes you is trying to take advantage of you.

You try to refuse, but he already knows your weaknesses. They emotionally blackmail you and give you reasons to feel bad because you stood your ground.

You try to speak Up and no one is listening to you. You don’t even know who to talk to.

You find strength to voice out, no one believes you, with their mouths, they abuse you the second time.

And then, you’re terribly down. Heart broken and shattered.

You’re emotionally drained, you’ve lost your creativity and you’re beginning to hate men/women because of the abuser.

Some, end up lesbains and gays.

The hatred for the opposite sex wouldn’t go away.

The ones who don’t turn gay, end up being really promiscuous. Having sex at every point, without a second thought.

Male survivors who don’t find healing end up seeing women as only but a tool for sexual gratification and a war to conquer.

Female survivors who don’t find healing end up as prostitutes, taking cloud 9 trips with every being with a third leg.

The ones who come to hate sex, would rather not having anything to do with the opposite sex, including marriage.

Do you now see?

More than what we think, it’s a ripple effect. Negatively affecting more than just the victim.

Sometimes, victims of rape become rapists themselves.

Bitter, right?

The cycle goes on.

What are you doing? To build a safer world. A world, where children are left to become children. A world, where there’s no or very little issues of sexual violence.

Together, we build.

Breaking it’s toll on us.


4 Simple Magic Ways To Becoming Anything You Want To Be.

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Everyday,  I meet people who want to do this or that, they want to run a side business and grow it into something huge. It’s been 8months since they started thinking about it and nothing has been done. Nothing at all.
Joshua in his late 20’s wants to become a doctor, following his childhood aspirations. He knows this is what would bring him all the happiness he desires, but he thinks he’s too old to go back and begin this journey. How does he find the motivation to follow his childhood dreams?
Truth is always this, you can be anything you want to become, no matter how old or young you think you are. You can do anything you want to really do.
Last week, I watched a video about Terrarai Trent, a woman from Zimbabwe who was married off at age 11 in exchange for a cow. she loved education and really wanted to go to school, to sit in a chair and desk and raise up her hands to answer questions but her father believed girls shouldn’t be sent to schools, at 18 she had four kids. Yet she pushed on, and it took her 20 years from the day she wrote down her dreams on paper to finally get her PhD. Circumstances couldn’t stop her.
Watching that video reignited my resolve that anything is damn possible. Thanks to my friend, Karimot, who sent it.
And here are four simple, yet magical ways to become that thing, that personality you’ve always wanted to be.
  1. See It.
What do you want to be? What do you see yourself becoming? What do you dream of? What do you see? You can’t do it if you can’t dream it. If you cannot paint the picture of it in your head, it will be really difficult to achieve.
So, the first thing to do is to know and imagine what you really want to be. A doctor? In your head, paint a picture of you wearing a doctor’s robe and treating patients in a particular hospital. Think of the joy this imagination gives you.
See it, paint the picture constantly in your head and most importantly, write it down, and go for it.
  1. Focus Is Everything
The worst thing that’ll happen to anyone who really wants to become is distraction. Loss of focus. You’ve seen the image, now don’t lose that  image, keep it within reach and see it always, focus is simply continuous concentration on a thing.
Do not allow all that happens around steal the image from you. That image should be very precious to you. You lose it, you loose what you want to become. Keep it and see yourself flying high in a while. In a nutshell, protect your Focus.
  1. Service, Be Useful.
Service is the easiest way to open up opportunities for your growth. You don’t have any excuse whatsoever. Keeping idle is a complete waste of your energy and life. Do something.
While working towards becoming, learn to serve, if you get paid for it, fine. If not, stay cool and volunteer. That way, you’re amassing Wealth of experience, building relationships, and keeping your mental powers alive.  Go out there and do something new, no matter how little, as long as it takes you closer to your dreams.
  1. Patience
In Terreria’s case it took her twenty years to actually get what she wanted, lots of failures and difficulties. Yet she kept at it. When you begin, it’s not always going to be success, they’ll be ups and down too!
Sometimes, the downs may last longer than the ups, and then you feel like nothing is moving at all. You write exams and fail even when you know you prepared hard, it’s heartbreaking, we know. But you can’t just let go.
Summon courage again and keep going for it, be patient, it’ll only take time. Your long awaited dream will become reality. The things only you see in your head will come to life for everyone to see.
But until it comes, stay patient and be faithful to your dreams. You can become anything.

Plant Now, Be The World Changer

Did you know, there are people, living beings who have made the decision to be poor? Not really because they enjoy being poor.

But you know, indecision is a decision on it’s own, it’s just you Deciding not to make a decision.

If you decide to work your way to success, you have just decided to let life do anything it pleases with you.

These people sit all day and expect one big miracle to happen.

They expect someone to come out of the blues  and give them millions. Even if this dream of theirs come to reality, they’ll go poor again within a very short time.

That’s why poverty is a mind thing.

So, what’s on your mind?

Will your actions today take you to your desire future?

Do you even have a desired future or you’re just letting life push you around, taking you wherever the wind blows.

Today, world changer, is the day of decision, no more pushing around, no more waiting for lucks, there’s nothing like that.

You are what you do. You become what you do.

You’re never too young to be a billionaire, don’t Even think your parents can di everything for you.

You’re young, and this is the best time to make the best use of your life.

Young is the time for plans and work, not the time for plays and  keeping friends who do nothing but gist and drag you on the wrong path.

You have your life and strength now. Now isn’t the time for sports betting, clubbing and having   romantic relationships. Now is the time to map your success and work it into reality.

Plant your seeds today. Do the work and glow. Be The World changer. Own your life.

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Got Limitations? You’ve Got Options too.

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Truth is, Limitations are everywhere. There’s always something trying to limit what you do. Sometimes they could be personalbeliefs and other times they are external forces.
Whatever one it is, Limitations only limit people. It can never propel you to be better.
And, Only people who don’t stretch are confined in a box by Limitations. If you don’t stretch out of it, if you don’t break the limits, you will be limited.
Limits are meant to be broken, Not to be obeyed or pampered.  If you want success, learn to stat Breaking limits. Stretch.
Everyone, every person experiences Limitations. We all limits set before us. Stopping us from being whom who’ve been predestined to become.
You don’t have to do anything wrong to experience Limitations, it’s just part of life.
What you do to the Limitations around is what makes the difference.
First off, break limiting beliefs.
There are beliefs we hold on to that hold us down. The belief that it is too hard, the belief that you can’t do it even when you haven’t given it a trial.
The belief that you’re not good enough, the belief that success can be for some chosen people but definitely not you. The belief that your village people are following you. The belief that demons are tieing you down.
The belief that you’re not smart enough for it. The belief that you can do it all alone. The belief that life is difficult.
Limiting beliefs. They hold you back and stop you from taking necessary actions and trying out new things.
There are other Limitations we get to experience.
Lack of support
And others.
However, your life is a sum total of the Choices you make.
The Limitations you experience will only stop you if you allow it. Even though environment plays a large role in people’s life. It shouldn’t determine how you end up.
Financial challenges can as well pose as a Limitation, the only answer it needs is for you to stretch and break it.When you’re lacking support, your dreams and goals are yours. It is yours to make happen. Just focus on stretch yourself.
When you get to that goal, you’ll have so much support.
Stretch, give it all you can. Focus on what you want. Deal with limiting beliefs.
The stretch will be painful and uncomfortable, cry when you have to. Yet don’t give up. Keep stretching until the limits breaks and launches you onto greatness.
This life eh, it is yours to live. I’ve told myself I’ll live it to the fullest. I’ll unleash every potential and I get so much Limitations to break.
The journey has not been an easy one, infact, no journey to stardom is without a story.
You will break down. Just keep stretching. You will be really afraid, keep stretching.
Just stretch yourself, try new things. Get new knowledge. Work extra hours, pay the sacrifices, attend more events, build more networks. All these are not comfortable. Yet, being comfortable won’t take you anywhere.
Stand Up today and stretch till you break off those Limitations.

Here’s Why You Go Through Bad Times.

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It’s okay to fall.

It’s okay to fail.

It’s okay to make mistakes.

It’s okay to cry.

It’s okay to stand

It okay to feel alone and lonely.

It’s okay to get heartbroken.

It’s okay to experience the bad side of life.

We should only be careful to allow the bad moments grind us into beautiful powders.

I finished Reading Juliana Oyelode’s book titled Rebirth: From grass to Grace.

She unashamedly told her story, from the time her parent separated, to the time when a neighbour sexually abused her as a kid, to how she got famous.

The journey isn’t always smooth. In fact, it’s never always smooth.

Life will bring us lessons at different stages. The lessons are often compulsory. We need the lessons to scale through life. We need the experiences to become a better version of us.

Sadly, some people never alow their own lessons make them better, they get heartbroken and vexed for getting to experience such pains and they slip into drugs and alcohol. Some join bad groups and become terrorists.

Truth is, the universe is always in balance.

It knows how to journey us through life.

That’s why our experiences are never the same. The events that happen in our life aren’t the same.

You may have a beautiful childhood and I may have the worse childhood anyone can think about. It isn’t because the universe is unfair or God is wicked.

It is because, to become who I have to be, I’ll need those bad childhood experiences. I’ll need those pains and tears to make my tomorrow better.

You had a good childhood because that’s what your future needed, it doesn’t mean there’ll be no other pains in your life. Life will definitely bring you the pains you need.

So dear, no matter what you’ve been through or are going through right now- The stress of reading for examinations, the fails, the sicknesses or the death of a loved one.

Just hold on because the pain is what the future you needs, to truly manifest. It’s what you need to grow.

Embrace it, the pains, and cry if you have to. It’s okay to go through life like this. For in the end, your story makes the difference.

Reasons You Must Be Peaceful With You Before Seeking To Follow Peace With Others.

img-20181230-wa0001Ada grew up in a little family of three kids, they were a typical Middle class family, they had enough to keep them going from day to day.

Ada’s parents were very well devoted to their religion and one thing have been the mantra of the home -Follow peace with all men.

Ada lived her childhood and tween years on this principle, she’d been taken advantage of severally just because she wants to follow peace.

Sadly, she’d grown up with the wrong interpretation of what the statement actually means.

Ada is 15 now, a senior secondary school student and lives in the boarding house.

She’s been known to be so peaceful, she wants to be friends with everyone. Some of her school mates told her she acts like a pest and doesn’t have a voice of her own but Ada ignores them and continues with her “Peace Ministry”.

She believed that people should give of themselves, even when they don’t feel like it just to maintain peace. And that’s very Okay, to an extent.

Bad friends started exploiting her. They’d intentionally ask for stuff Ada held Close to her heart. They’d come around and ask for her toys, her beads and all the girly stuff Ada loved and our peaceful Ada always gave it out to them.

They knew how to make her feel bad for not giving them what they asked, if she gave a No. And Ada would once again remember their Family mantra- follow peace, don’t give people reason to hate you.

But the truth is, there are still people who hate you for absolutely no reason.


At a time, she became very good friends with Lina. Lina was the new girl in class and she looked very collected and calm and quickly became friends with Ada.

At a point, clashes began to occur and they both had quarrels, Lina had said things that weren’t true about Ada and somehow she heard it.

She confronted Lina who never felt bad about what she did. Ada was so angry and broken. Her image had been tainted. It took her over 8days to get over it.

And when she finally did, she went back to Lina because she believed she had to be friends with everyone, but she got snubbed.

She felt bad and cried. Unconsciously, she had built her confidence on how much she’s able to please people and be friends with them. So whenever she gets hurt by a Friend or someone leaves her she gets bruised and she hates herself for not being friendly enough.

Are you like Ada?

I once was like her, I wanted to be everyone’s friend. I wanted people to love me and to never leave.

I needed so much validation and I got hurt most of the time, I depended on people’s good actions towards me to become happy.

Until I Began to find myself, my strength, my uniqueness and my personal love. Then I began to break through to enjoy me.

If you’re like Ada or the old me, you need to understand that you can’t please everyone.

Everybody cannot be your friend, it’s not just possible, even Jesus was hated. No matter how much you love the world, they’ll always be people who hate you for no reason.

So you have to be at peace with yourself first. You have to love yourself First. You have to be your own best friend first.

You also have to understand that not everyone can be your friend. It’s not possible. There are different seasons and phases of life for different people. Your bestie of two years may leave you next month. It’s very Okay.

It’s can be soul shattering, I know. But not everyone will stay with us forever and we have to accept that. Even God at some point had to let go of Lucifer.

Learn to let go, especially toxic people. Begging them to stay will only mean you want to harm yourself.

Yet, even when loving yourself and letting bad people go, be sure never to hurt anyone. Just let them go. That’s what it means to follow peace with all men.

Again, I say to you: Love yourself first.

Just One Step To Rising Above Down Moments.

Things happen, circumstances crop up, Dark times hit us and we sometimes hit rock bottom. Down moments cannot be escaped. It’s a part of life. It’s a part of the journey.

You’ll cry, you’ll shed tears uncontrollably, sometimes you may even find yourself entertaining suicidal thoughts.

Your heart may get shattered and broken by the person you’ve loved with everything you had.

Your business may go down the drain within a very short time.

You may lose all the money in your account to fraudsters. Or, you may lose a loved one.

You may even fail a major examination or not get admitted to the school of your choice.

In different ways, in diverse forms, the unexpected happens. Moments that bring you down emotionally and leave you drained.

And it’s normal. It’s a part of life. Those down moments help us appreciate and value our ‘up’ Moments. They spice up life and give us the joy of victory when we win.

You can be in the driver’s seat of your life. You can take control of how you react and how long you spend brooding over what happened or what didn’t happen.

I know it’s not easy, I understand that some situations come unexpectedly and throw us off balance. Nevertheless, we can choose to either find back our balance or stay right there on the ground and cry.

One way I have been always able to stand up back and keep moving is by telling myself that this right here, is part of my story.

I know I have a story to tell. I know my life is like a movie script. I know there are people, thousands of them who will go through in the future what I’m going through today.

And I know that when I stand before those people, the easiest way to encourage and help them back to their feet would be to share my own story with them.

And so, when my heart gets broken, I cry and find back my balance because this is part of my story.

When my business fail and I get rejected at work, I just get upset, cry, wipe the tears and keep moving because this is part of my story.

When I get persecutions for trying to do something good, I just wipe the tears when they come and go on with what I do because someday, I’m gonna tell this story of how I made it work.

When stuff happens, I sit back, try as much as I can to hold my peace and then let things go because I know this is just part of my story.

You have a story to tell, see your down moments as spices. They spice up your story, they make your story interesting, peculiar and irresistible.

From this moment, make the decision to always make the most of your life no matter what happens, because you know that it is a part of your story.

Over to you.
How do you rise above down moments? Please share and let’s learn.

One Reason You need To Stop Searching For Miracles.

Ever met people who are so confused in life?

They have dreams but are too afraid to go after them. They have resources but are scared of losing them. They have mentors but will rather sit back and look. They want to appear really perfect. They don’t want people to laugh at them if they fail.

That’s crazy right?

Some people don’t just want to lose people in their lives, they value validation over their success. And so, even when they’re pretty sure they need to break off from these people, they still wallow in self pity and let those not-so-friendly friends stay.

And then, these same people go about looking for a miracle. Searching and hoping for a golden opportunity that’s gonna fall of the sky.

That, of course never happens. Because, you’re the miracle that you seek.

We have to begin to see our potentials, what power reside in us, what we are truly capable of doing and make the decision to set those potentials on motion. That’s when all the powers in you are unleashed.

You’re the miracle you seek.

I was talking with a friend some weeks ago when he told me without mincing words, “Chidera, you have everything you need to become really successful, it’s in you, God has given them to you. You just have to stop looking down on yourself and launch out”

Those words struck me really hard.

I realised two things. I had been looking down on my abilities, and I have been searching for miracles elsewhere, not realising that I am my own miracle.

Truth is, I’m not just only my own miracle, you’re not just your own miracle, we are also other people’s miracle. And if we do not realise that we have miracles down inside of us waiting to be explored, how do we bless other people by being their miracle?

You cannot give what you don’t have, and even if you have it, you cannot give what you have but don’t know that you have it.

You have to become self aware. You have to understand that you’re a walking Miracle, that way, you’d hold yourself responsible for your success.
Not depending on your father, or your rich uncle to send you capital to start up that business.

You would begin to realise that not even your friend or mother can be enough miracle.
You need to wield the power within you. That’s your miracle. That’s your super power.

Your success depends on you, your failure depends on you too. Your life is a summary of the decisions you choose to make.

Leave those friends that hinder your growth. Let go of your pasts and don’t let them over power your future.

Do what’s necessary, let go of negative energy and behaviour.

You’re a miracle. You’re your miracle.

Explore your world and discover the miracle in you.

You’re the miracle you seek. You’ve got everything you need. Never look down on that little, start with it.

Being a teenager is no excuse here, there are records of very rich teenagers. What idea is in your head? Go right out there and show ’em what you’ve got.


How I Overcame Low Self Confidence And How You Can Too.

A very large number of people living on this planet suffer from one major sickness. A sickness that’s worse than AIDS.

This sickness doesn’t make one bed ridden, it may not eat up the physical body but it shatters the mind and ruins people’s chances of being successful.

That disease is called Low Self Confidence.

I had that deadly disease, thank God I found a way out, and I’ll be sharing with you how I became free.

I was once locked up in the cage of self doubt and low self confidence.
I was the girl who would never pose for pictures in public.

I hardly spoke in the midst of people. Though I talked a lot back then in class and at home.

I vividly remember that day in school, we had Oral test. I lost ten marks because I couldn’t stand to speak in front of the class. It was heart wrecking

I was quite lucky, it was my favourite subject and the ten mark I lost only affected my result a little.

Oh, I forgot to tell you. As a child, I hated my eyes so much.
Almost everyone told me how big my eyes were, and I felt terrible. And because of how powerful spoken words are, they affected the way I saw myself.

It wasn’t long before I began to feel ugly. I felt I wasn’t attractive. And the more I felt it, the deeper it sank in my mind that I wasn’t cute enough.

I began to seek approval, because, of course, humans have the innate hunger to be a part of people, to be accepted.

I sometimes had to close my eyes a little, in a bid to make them look smaller to people. I didn’t want anyone to tell me how big my eyes were.

I continued trying to fit in until during my mid teen age, I discovered I had a very huge gaint inside of me.

With time, the gaint grew bigger and refused to stay anymore in that cage of low self esteem.

Then I began to do things, crazy stuff that made people think I was going nuts.

I dared my abilities, killed fear and stepped out to chase my dream.

The more I walked towards my dream, the better I felt about myself. Low esteem was dying and I was loving myself for the guts I wielded.

There was something else I did.

Knowledge grows confidence. I never knew that, until I noticed that the shackles of low self confidence was breaking with every book I read.

Truth is, the more I read, the more confident I became and I had so much to share with people. Reading good, life transforming books can actually sky rocket your self confidence.

And then I began to be bold enough to turn deaf ears to people’s sayings.
I stopped allowing whatever people say make me feel bad.
I refused to make their musings and gossips gain validity.

I only focused on doing what is right.

I helped other people feel better, it in turn made be better. That’s a magic, I tell you.
If you help people feel good, you’ll feel good too.

And then, I did something I never knew. I could do. I spoke to students of a high school without an iota of panic, during one of my reach outs.

Sweetie, I overcame self doubt, you too can.

You can love yourself the way you are.
You can be exactly who you are.

You can own yourself, unapologetically.

You are beautiful, the way you are.

You are God’s best.

You are one in 8billion+, not just one in a million.

You are full of potentials, unleash them.

You are awesome.

You can become better, and you can live your life being very confident in your abilities, in your self.

Just take the right steps.

I love You.

One Reason You Must Unleash Your Super Powers.

Few weeks back, I had to see a movie few weeks ago, a young girl, Chloe, was destined to fight the evil that currently dwelled in the land and to prevent future evils from happening.

In order for this to happen, she had to unleash her super powers, in the fight against evil. Physical powers weren’t enough for the work.

And the supernatural powers wouldn’t just pop up, she has to undergo tough trainings and experience really huge circumstances her physical powers won’t just handle.

The more trainings she had, the more she was beaten, and the more her supernatural abilities had to show up.

She failed, was injured, was broken, but no brokenness is enough if her powers didn’t show up. She just had to unlock.

Finally, her supernatural abilities manifested, the true powers lying dormant in her became woke and she was well prepared to fight evil, and make the world better.

As I sat still with my eyes glued to the television, I wondered how much supernatural powers dwells in us. Truth is, we all have super abilities, we have that something extra, it just that we don’t know it.

And, the fact that we are oblivious of something’s existence never implies that it doesn’t actually exist.

Even Chloe never knew she had so much power inside of her until the time came for her to unleash.

I never knew I could run a blog or do something techy until I set out to do it.

I never believed I could speak in public until circumstances came and threw me out of my shells. And today, speaking is one of the few things I really love doing.

Everyone has super powers and abilities, It’s just that some people are either not aware of it or they’re not ready to evoke it.

Either way, you’ve got to know and be conscious that there’s something great about you .

You have supernatural powers and abilities, so when circumstances come your way, don’t complain or fret, it’s a way your powers could come alive.

So when challenges come, instead of complaining, be smart enough to ask yourself, what new skill can I learn from this?

How do I tackle this problem?

It is in being positive, that you begin to unleash.

So, sit back, be positive make the decision to unleash your super powers.

You must unleash your powers for so many reasons. But here’s just one. The world needs you. The world awaits you. You cannot afford to fail us.

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